Xbeccamustdiex's Blog

My every attempt will fail

My desperate cry will go unheard

I will fade from existance

Holding onto the bottom of the sea

My lungs scream

But I ignore

I'm giving up

For once and for all

I'll let lies tear me down

I'm tired of fighting the pain when I know that I will lose

My eyes so sensitive to the suns light of life

Is this my true calling

With the walls pressing in

And my trembling hands

I plead to you now,

Do not get trapped in my shadows

I cope with the agonizing thought of reality

Awaken my senses to an abnormal state

Lock the medicine cabnet

Close the blinds

My God, what a web you've woven

Let all known beauty burn

It all adds up to nothing

Show me the door that leads out of this hell

Show me how my heart beats under increasing pressure

Spin the record until your voice has gone

And Just like a glass house

I'm broken

Never having defense

Spread my torn wings

Take flight into the bloodshed night

I won't fall.

Seems like my hearts  been wasted

loving someone that's never embraced it

Filling up my mind with empty notions

All these lies have come seeping through my soul

where were you when i needed you?

your words like lyrics

become the song of my life

over and over

smiles so innocent turn to poison

sorrow reflected from my eyes

a bitter kiss,

leaving me defenseless

my emotions start to pour out like water

knowing that this is how things are

how they were

and how they will always be

save my soul

I don't know if it was really worth it

but none the less he did it all

in love

his passion came so deeply from within him

I'm not worthy

        I fight the words that keep me hiding

In this place

I wanna see your face tonight

and all these thought they decieve me

the warmth of your embrace

will lead me on,

again

         stripped away from the sin,

smothering me

to my knees I shall

in awe of your beauty

cleanse my soul

renew your mercy

cause without you

i'm

lost

             I fight the words......[chorus 2x]

and words that bleed

from my heart

now seem to real

I don't want to believe

that it's true

that you're gone

never coming back

once full

suddenly so empty

can you feel my heart break to?

I'm tired of fighting

I'll let my tears flow down

sit alone

knife in lap

thinking about the times we had

realizing that they no longer mean anything

forever being known as just painful memories

this may sound clich`e

but i still love you

I think i'll just leave it at that

lingering in the air

because if my heart wants to give up

it won't be so hard

when i looked upon your face

for one split second,

we shared the pain

the tears built up inside

the times that we wish we could hide

fall from the world in thought

after that one heart,

we just almost caught

when strenght has turned to fear

feeling like the end of our time is near

tearing your soul apart

for all our faults

these words like stone

pour out on us

can you kill the pain away

make our emotions numb

swallowed into darkness

maybe we'll find our way

With each blood drop that falls

I start to understand

the pain you fely

the anger built inside

I can now feel that pain

feel that anger

But when comes the relief?

this mark still dosen't mean anything to me

I don't seem any better

I'm only worse

more depressed

peranoid

and in some cases

rejected

alone

if my consequences make life harder than it was

then why do i continue?

an unintended addiction

turning my life sour

i only wanted to know

how it made you feel

but now im trapped to

in an unknown world

crawling through the dark

just wanting an open arm

to pull us from our burden

from our brused and scared hearts

It's safe to say I'm not okay

I need you here

so don't you go

don't leave me here, here alone

to fight the lies

and all lost love

              To sit in the dark without a match

In the raing without a coat

I float astray in the crowd

waiting for your face to be found

my heart was broken

you made it one

this isn't the end

life has just begun

     So please don't allow your voice to fade

It's safe to say I'm not okay

I need you here

so don't you go

Don't leave me here, here alone

to fight the lies

and all lost love

              Flowers have bloomed

and years have passed

time has gone way to fast

this tear's for you my dear

for i still wait and yern for you to be near

   please don't allow your voice to fade

It's safe to say I'm not okay

I need you here

so don't you go

Don't leave me here, here alone

to fight the lies

and all lost love...

I don't believe in love

and you can't make me

you can't take me and change my mind

all this time i've sat here wasteing[spell?] away

alone and regretful

something is missing

I'm drowning in your cold bitter sorrow

my blade kissing closer

my eyes they cast off pain

take a step forward

 i back away

wipe away foggy images reflected in my dreams

conceal the darkness within

you look at me and only know what's seen by eye

my heart's an open book

but you closed it and set it aside

as if later i'd still be here

ready to continue where we left off

shattered glass spilled upon the street

like before,

just walk away

the air so thick with foul taste

making me choke

fall to my knees

not in pain

but pure desperation

every inch of hope slowly burning

until non-existant

I wish we could be like that

just forget we ever knew each other

forget we ever belonged.